Agh, I've been so grrrrrrrrr lately. Just constantly angry and peevish. I've been handling it ok; I haven't snapped at anyone or yelled or anything. I just...hate my job. It's not that the work sucks (though it is retail) or that my coworkers suck or even that my boss is a moron, because none of that is true. It's just that I've been at this for over three years now and I am stuck in a rut. I am sick and tired of this job, of driving a half hour to and then another from work, of barely paying my immediate bills and making no headway at all on my school debt, and of that fact driving my credit down and making it so I cannot get a better job in order to pay it off.

I am hating this rut a lot right now. Feel the hate. It's like being stuck in an oubliette with people tossing you just enough food and water to survive the day but never a ladder, rope, or enough to stock up a supply with. So everyday you're terrified they won't come, because if they don't, you will die in a few hours. And I don't want to die. I want to go to school, I want to live and see the world, I want to learn and grow, I want to start a family and make it good, I want to make my Heavenly Father and my Saviour both proud of me. I want to pay off my debts. All of them. I want a job I don't dread to go to after a few months, that I can survive comfortably enough off of to support myself and save to support others on, should it be necessary.

To do all this, I need to focus on the Lord and get my rear in even more gear. I've been constantly applying and constantly not even getting called in for an interview. My applications are not terrible, my resume is good, but frankly I don't have a degree or certifications, so testing is necessary. Looks like I'm off to a career center.

Comments

Lyrax said…
*hugs*
You have friends who support you, in addition to your family and Heavenly Father.
12:21 AM
adarhysenthe said…
I know that, actually. It's a great comfort most of the time. Just right now I almost can't handle the attention without my waspishness coming out.
12:47 AM
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