In His Steps

I'm suddenly much more relaxed. I had some wonderful lessons in church yesterday and heard a lot of things I think I really needed to hear. They were all about charity, giving and receiving. Charity....the pure love of Christ. I've been thinking about all these trials and tribulations in the wrong way. They may indeed be tests and trials, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to get something good for patiently enduring. They happened to teach me to learn to rely on others, especially at the expense of my pride. Charity was always seen as welfare in my family, which is the lowest of the low. You don't ever rely on anyone but yourself to take care of you. I needed to learn to accept help, and take it for the gift it is without refusing it to save face and struggling on anyway. I also needed to learn to handle problems gracefully, without fuss and fix it calmly. So many things get blown out of proportion and "ruin the whole thing" when really, they don'...

I shouldn't have worried so much. Rosslyn assisted me in getting me home. Our friend Red took me to the train station and made sure I was alright. My parents picked me up at the station and I slept at a family friends', because that's where Christmas breakfast was going to be and they were allergen free (in comparison). I have my old phone, so tomorrow I'm picking up my paycheck early, getting a new simcard for the phone and handling all that, my home teacher who was fixing my tire has finished it, so tomorrow night or Sunday afternoon he's going to put it back on for me. I'm so grateful to him for all the effort he's gone through to do that for me. Presents were minimal, again, this year, but I don't need much and I obviously wasn't able to give much. Rosslyn gave me a new wireless card, so tonight when I get home I'm cleaning my room and getting the internet back on my own computer. Surrounded by friends and family, I'm content and happ...

I spoke too soon last time. I'm having a really hard time now. After the previously mentioned things came to pass, my wireless card died, my car had a flat, my phone was stolen, and at some ungodly hour this morning those cramps that put me in the hospital returned. Rosslyn was amazing and got me lying on a hotpad and got my meds for me. The hospital had never determined what was wrong, so all they did that helped was lay me down and give me pain meds. As I can do all that here, I did. I had to call out from work (I feel so bad for my boss right now, despite my apathy to my job itself). Without my phone though, I'm kinda helpless. I can't call for help, my possible new job can't get ahold of me, my home teacher has my tire and I can't go see my family with the donut on... I might cry. I just keep feeling like I'm being tested. Just when things look up, like at the amazing show I performed in on Tuesday, something happens, like my phone getting stolen backstage...

Bad things are said to come in threes. After my stint in the hospital, I went back to work on Monday. Rosslyn drove me that day and the next, just in case my cramps reoccurred. When they didn't, I went out to my car in the morning on Wednesday to drive myself, happy to be back in the swing of things. My car wouldn't start. Yep. The battery was dead. It wasn't until today (Monday) that I got it fixed through the good graces of my wonderful bishop and a couple of the young men in the Elder's Quorum of my ward. Considering we had a storm all day, with uprooted trees and torrents of rain going on this whole time, they are pretty much golden in my book. They were given hot cocoa, of course. It was the least I could do, since they weren't able to stay and enjoy the warmth of the house and a good movie. Darn weather. We were going to go caroling and I was going to run the choir. Without a ride, the latter wasn't going to happen and caroling is right out. Ah well,...