The Phone Ransom
Rosslyn: So I did leave my phone at your house, didn't I?
Rosslyn: The last place I saw it was my car, and I don't think it's there, and it doesn't seem to be in my bag...
Me: *modified voice* If you wish to see your phone again...
Me: There must be payment.
Rosslyn: Of what?
Me: We must have at least 50 quid of kitkats.
Me: Delivered in small, nondescript envelopes at the corner of [redacted].
Rosslyn: But it's nearly Sunday!
Me: The phone cannot wait. You have one hour.
Rosslyn: I have no kitkats. I cannot go buy kitkats. And quid is short from British Pounds Sterling, which I may have but not fifty.
Rosslyn: I think I have forty.
Me: Or the phone gets it. *ksshhhhht end transmission*
ETA: She got her phone. No kitkats. Fooey. Crime doesn't pay.