Changes come in slowly or quickly, and they can seem small and become so large they disrupt your entire life. I've felt for some time the need and desire to return to school. Well, I've packed up my life, quit a job I really adored having, and moved. I had quite some time shedding things, too. I think I donated or trashed three car loads worth of belongings I cherished and felt lucky to have at one point. I hope they go one to someone who needs them more than I. I am now in the land of Ice and Snow (I can say that because there is still some on the ground and it snowed the day I moved in to my new apartment).

I've found certain preferences in me that I'd never considered before. There is so much upheaval in my life. My family is falling apart in numerous ways, mostly due to the divorce and the actions surrounding it's implementation. It's gotten so bad that I must take care what I say to every single person involved, save my little sister. It's funny how we've finally began to grow together as everything else has fallen apart, and we now live on opposite sides of the country. Anyway, back to the main point. I cannot control a great deal of what is happening, so I've been out to find things that I can control.

I've chosen a ward and I intend to stay there for the entirety of my time in snow country. The people are fun and I have made a few friends already. While I will not be staying in my current apartments the whole time I'm here, I am already searching for a home where I won't have to move until my schooling is complete, preferably in my new ward's boundaries. I'm tired of instability. I'm ok with change; that's inevitable, but I want to have some say in what the change is!

I'm looking for a job now, with that same thought in mind. I somewhat doubt I'll find a job that will pay me enough to put me through school, even with the lower rent and cost of living here, but it's possible, and I will try. I'll work two or three jobs if I have to. In fact, I'm hoping for two jobs until I get into community college, so I can pay for it. I miss my friends at my old job, though. I miss them a lot. But email and Facebook are great tools for keeping in touch.

I suppose this post was a way to play catch-up from a three plus month long silence where I had a great deal of pain that went into my private journal, and not much I felt up to saying here. Hopefully I'll have more to say that is open to being heard by others.

Comments

TV said…
It IS crazy. But I'm glad you don't feel the need to censor with me. <3s!
adarhysenthe said…
Nope. You are actually the one person who knows everything. Some things I can't talk about with my friends, no matter how close, because it's family business, not theirs. You can know it all!

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